Well, hello there! This week, let's talk about the big scary fear that sooo many people have when they first start getting curious about intuitive eating, & that is the fear that they will go bananas around food – ie, that they’ll end up overeating, losing control … all the things.
But let’s pause for a moment and dig a bit deeper. What’s the fear under the fear.
If the fear is “I’m worried I’ll go bananas around food” … the fear under the fear is
“I’m worried I’ll go bananas around food, and therefore gain weight”!
BOOM! There we have it …. The real fear under the fear.
Now, as I’ve always stated, The Other Way is my take on intuitive eating, it’s my own version of a non-diet approach to weight management, that worked for me and is now woring for the people I share it with.
And I say that, because in the purest form of intuitive eating, and certainly in some intuitive eating circles and Facebook groups, it’s very much frowned upon to want to lose weight, or to be frightened of gaining weight. Some intuitive eating coaches want to help people accept their bodies whatever weight they are, even if they gain weight, and their view is that being overweight, even significantly overweight doesn’t necessarily equate to being unhealthy.
Now honestly, with all my heart I totally respect their view, their beliefs and their position on this. And if that makes them and their followers happy, that’s all that matters.
And, I couldn’t buy into that. As Ive said before on previous episodes of this podcast, once I tip a certain number on the scales, my knees start aching … a bit more than that & my back and hips join in too …I can’t wear what I want to wear, I find it harder to do the things I want to do and I can’t be as happy as I want to be when I’m carrying a lot of extra weight.
So every single person has the right to find a way to live that works for them – and for me, that means finding a way to eat and live in a way that beings me joy AND enables me to live in a body that doesn’t ache, and one that makes me happy. And I don’t apologise for that.
And that is why The Other Way is my own unique take on traditional intuitive eating.
Weight loss and weight management is definitely not the not the focus of The Other Way, it’s very much put on the back burner, especially at the beginning of the process … AND a gradual movement back to your body’s happy weight is a gorgeous side effect of The Other Way for the majority of people if they are able to allow themselves to go all in with all the steps along the way.
But I digress. Lets go back to the fear in hand – Will I go bananas with food when I start intuitive eating? (and the sub fear … and therefore will I gain weight?)
For someone that has dieted for many years, for someone that maybe struggles with binge eating or emotional eating, the idea of Intuitive Eating can sound really scary. Why? Because on the face of it, it can sound like a free-for-all, that encourages eating whenever you want and eat anything and everything you crave.
Now I don’t know about you, but the old me, the me who thought she could only “control” her insatiable cravings around food by having strict food rules in place, which included getting weighed by someone else once a week, just so that I would stick to those rules, this intuitive eating business sounded well dodgy at first. I mean it sounded lovely, but it would never work for someone like me … because left to my own devises I was just, well …. Plain greedy (or so I believed).
But. But, but, but, but …with the exception of the well recognised “honeymoon phase,” of intuitive eating, which I’ll explain a bit more about in a minute, I now know with all my heart, that this isn’t the case. I now believe deeply that Intuitive Eating can actually help stop overeating, binge eating, emotional eating, and can leave people not just feeling in control around food … but not having to be in control, because it’s no longer something that needs controlling. How …. Wonderful and freeing is that?
So, back to basics, the idea behind intuitive eating, in a nutshell, is about trusting your body's signals around hunger and fullness, and honoring its needs. It's about finding balance and moderation with your food choices, and letting go of guilt and shame around eating. By tuning into your hunger and fullness signals, you can eat when you're truly hungry and stop when you're comfortably full – the majority of the time. Because there are ALWAYS going to be times when we eat when we’re not physically hungry, just for the pure joy of it … and that’s ok.
Eating more intuitively can help manage your weight, improve your hormone balances, digestion all while reducing stress and anxiety around food.
But that's not all! Intuitive eating can also help you improve your mental health and develop a more positive attitude towards your body. By embracing your body for what it is and focusing on nourishing it, rather than trying to change it, you can develop greater self-acceptance and confidence. And guess what, by focusing on all that, the change you want to see looks after itself. Without being forced. Without having to rely on willpower.
So it really is a lovely way to live.
But, let's not sugarcoat it. Intuitive eating can be a bit of a challenge, especially at first and especially if you've struggled with disordered eating or chronic dieting in the past. It can take some time to really hear and then trust your body's signals and let go of those external diet rules and restrictions that you've been carrying around, maybe for dacades.
So it’s really important when you first start experimenting with intuitive eating to go all in. To be prepared to be in it for the long haul. It really is a marathon, not a sprint. But it’s a gorgeous marathon. It’s not like being on a diet, which is boring and restrictive, and quite frankly a ball-ache. It’s a gorgeous, delicious journey of possibility.
Now, before I get too smoozy, the reason why Intuitive Eating helps stop overeating and binges, is because over eating and binge eating often stem from a biological deprivation of food.
Over eating is a symptom of under eating.
When we stop under eating, we stop over eating.
It really is that simple.
When I look at my own past behaviours around food, it was when I was telling myself that I couldn’t mustn’t shouldn’t eat sweets, cakes, ice cream, bread … and all the rest of the usual suspects, because they would lead to weight gain, that I craved eating them the most.
You see, these were rules that I created in my own head. Actually, that’s rubbish isn’t it? I didn’t create the rules … diet culture created them, but I allowed them to reside in my head. And because I followed those bonkers food rules and avoided these foods at all costs,(or tried to) the cravings for them were often OUT . OF . CONTROL.
Because all my focus and attention and energy was on food and what I couldn’t mustn’t shouldn’t have, I didn’t allow myself to enjoy food.
My entire existence was centered around food, but it wasn’t a pleasure.
It felt like every thought of my day involved food to some degree – what I could have, what I couldn’t have, what I was going to eat for breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner, planned perfectly to avoid those “off limits” foods, but ironically, and sadly planning not to have them signposted me to eat more of them. Because this self-imposed deprivation stimulated a massive urge to eat them, and lots of them, – and then once I started eating, it was game over. I ate all those foods, and more. And every time I did it I bargained and reasoned with myself that it was ok, because this would be the very last time.
Yeah right!
Do you know what … it was bloody exhausting.
Sound familiar anyone?
So intuitive eating, when I discovered it felt like a breath of fresh air. Just a kinder, easier nicer way to live.
And then came the fear. It sounded lovely, but maybe it wasn’t for greedy people like me.
And guess what, it was a self fulfilling prophesy in a way. Because at first I did go overboard - not on a particular kind of food interestingly enough – its not uncommon for people to go all out on chocolate or donuts or takeaways in their first few days of intuitive eating - people are testing the waters and eating foods they previously denied themselves …. But with me it wasn’t a particular type of food - it was more constant grazing for me. There was definitely no listening for my hunger cues in that first week – I had a green light to eat whenever, and for me whenever was most of the time.
And at first, It felt so freeing!
But then, although it was freeing, I began to notice that I didn’t feel good physically or mentally
I was lethargic, had no energy, and I irritable & moody
And just as I started to think about giving up and going back to how I used to eat and manage my weight something amazing started to happen. I naturally started to slow down on the grazing and feasting. Because I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted … I didn’t want to. It sounds too simplistic, but that’s what happened. I started craving more nourishing foods. Now I could have all the donuts and icecream I wanted, I didn’t really want them as much anymore.
Knowing that all foods are ON limits sort of took away the power and allure of them.
Now that might sound unbelievable. And honestly, if you’d have told me that’s what would happen a few years ago, I wouldn’t have believed me either
And it’s absolutely true.
So it’s absolutely worth knowing that some people may experience a temporary increase in their food intake as they start to listen to their body's signals and give themselves permission to eat all foods. This is completely normal it’s your body trying to make up for past deprivation, and your mind reacting to the green light.
But it’s important not to freak out or panic if and when this happens. Its actually a crucial step. Gifting yourself complete food freedom is one on the first steps I guide people though on The Other Way programme. And I can always tell the people who have been too frightened to go all-in and do this step fully – because what usually happens is that it makes doing the following steps too difficult.
And then what happens is they decide to go back to the beginning of the process and go all in with it this time. To trust the process.
And that’s ok … we all have different ways of learning. What I love, is no matter how they got there is when people look at me in amazement, or send me an email or a message, almost in disbelief that this can be them. That this can be them actually wanting and choosing to eat a “normal” amount of healthy food. That controlling food is no longer an issue for them. That they never were “just greedy” after all. I recognise “the look”, because I have it too when I look in the mirror. Its like a secret “The Other Way” code for Oh my god … I’m actually doing this”! I can be one of THOSE people.
So, my advice is to approach intuitive eating with a HUGE amount of trust, patience and self-compassion. It's a process, and it may take time to fully embrace and trust the intuitive eating approach. Don't be afraid to seek support from someone who knows what they’re doing.
It really is just a series of steps – about 6 of them … and you simply take the steps as quickly or as slowly as is comfortable for you, and you will get there.
With time, practice, and support, you can learn to embrace intuitive eating and live a life free from bonkers food rules and weight struggles. We all deserve that!
So, the short answer to the original question of “Will I go bananas?” is “No, but you can certainly start eating them again”
If you’d like a taste of freedom I have a private FB community full of like minded people, and I’ll pop the link in the show notes so you can pop over and join us,
Until next time, Love yourself lots,